I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
