he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
