I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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