.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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