Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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