my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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