I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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