I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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