Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
