Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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