I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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