Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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