I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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