Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
