We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
