There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
