I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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