Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize