How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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