Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
