Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
