I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize