Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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