Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
