so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter