I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared