Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?