To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.