Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".