i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
How many fucks given?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."