i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
