I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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