Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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