i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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