dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
