I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
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To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
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I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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