the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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