I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
