What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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