Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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