No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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