We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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