he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
