to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
