i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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