i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
