i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
