i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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