I showed him my bush... on skype.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
