If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize