I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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