I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
