Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
