I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
