see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
