I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
