school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
