my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
